Lonely
by Rhombea
Summary: Sometimes you just need someone to tell you that things are not as bad as they seem. And Soryu took long enough for that. (Soryu Oh X Reader)


Sighing, you sunk into the deep red cushions of the couch.

Normally Soryu didn't bring you when he went up to the penthouse to talk about 'business' with the other guys. If not for the date he had promised you after this meeting, you would have politely declined. It wasn't that you were reluctant to meet the others, in fact, you got along with them quite well, despite their questionable occupations. Then again, who were you to judge, with your boyfriend straight out of the mafia scene?

It was just that lately the two of you had been so far from each other as a couple can be. He had been working intently, staying away at night too. You couldn't help staying up late because of this, contemplating if he'd show up in the morning or maybe never again. Even though the two of you had been together for a year now and you were able to accept what he was and what he was doing, the two of you were facing a hard time.

That's why you were so happy to hear his mission was over. That's why the invitation to spend the day with him sounded so wonderful to you. That's why it really sucked to be sitting on the red cushions, while he was standing on the other side of the room, preparing some kind of presentation for whatever reason.

If it wasn't for Eisuke calling everyone in on the last possible second, the two of you would be strolling through the city right now. You wouldn't have a care in the world as you'd hold his hand and he'd squeeze it affectionately ever so often. And the two of you would laugh and chat, maybe eat some pancakes if you felt like it. It could have been wonderful.

But instead, you were stuck in a hotel suite you would love to change for a different place, with a man that you were so close with, but couldn't be farther away at the moment from.

A quiet sigh rolled off your tongue, as had many sighs before. _It's not like anyone else is here though,_ you thought, biting your lips in frustration. Since you arrived, several minutes had passed and it was almost the set time for the meet-up. You found it strange that no one would come at least a few minutes early, especially since they all should have been on the way already when the message went out.

You honestly weren't the type of person to be quiet so desperate with your relationship. Up to this point, everything had been rather good and the two of you had been so happy too. But aside from the loneliness of the last few days, you were just so frustrated by Soryu giving you the cold shoulder from the moment he had picked you up. Since days you had been up late waiting for him, preparing meals, making sure he got what he needed despite him not even texting you back when you asked about his well-being. Wasn't it time for him to at least kiss you or hold your hand? Was it too much to ask for some loving from his side?

Seemingly satisfied, Soryu zapped through the channels of the TV while you watched in pure annoyance. Your stare must have been quite icy in his back as he finally turned towards you, his eyes looking rather innocent for a man who was oblivious to your feelings for a while now. "Is something wrong?" he asked, his voice sounding as beautiful as ever in your ears.

You straightened your back, clearing your throat. Maybe, as long as no one was here anyway, you could talk about what was going on inside of you. Letting out all the bundled feelings that were ravaging in your stomach instead of the usual butterflies. "About our date…" you started, finding yourself interrupted by him right after saying the first few words. "Afterwards, [Name],"

Almost immediately he turned back around, continuing to zap through the channels. You bit your lip, trying to hold back the frustration and anger, emotions which were starting to bubble up inside of you. Apparently, talking was not an option anymore either, but you knew you had to do something. The crystal clear tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes were more than proof of this. By now you just didn't know how to calm yourself down enough to not cause a scene for him.

Rather quickly, your mind began to feel fuzzy with thoughts. Where did your frustration start? Him being so uncommunicative? Him staying away for days and nights without even once checking in with you? Maybe it was the fact you felt like a watch on his hand, nice enough to take out but in this day and age not really a priority anymore. However, deep inside you knew that the thought that wrapped around your throat like a rope was that today was your relationship's anniversary.

But it really felt more like the funeral.

"Finally," he sighed, placing the remote control aside and starting to take off his suit jacket, turning towards one of the chairs to lay the jacket over it. However, in the middle of his action, he gave you a quick glance, checking if you were alright since you got awfully quiet. He stopped what he was doing, looking at you in shock as he saw in what kind of state you were in.

There were clearly tears filling your eyes, your cheeks reddening from the fluid practically boiling them. They were threatening to spill any second now, as you were clenching your fists in your lap, your lips pressed into a thin line as if you were trying to keep something from pouring out.

"[Name], what's wrong?" Soryu asked, clear worry as well as uncertainty swinging in his voice. He had never seen you in a state like this before and felt completely taken aback by it, not knowing what to do. He approached you like a shy animal, hands risen in a defensive stance, slowly and with a worrisome expression.

Finally your mouth opened, the first three tears escaping down your cheeks and dribbling from your chin, but you didn't bother wiping them away. He heard how you took another deep breath before saying the words that were bothering you all this time without him knowing. As much as it hurt him to hear these words, all the more it shocked him what must be going on inside of you.

"Why don't you love me anymore?"

The first few seconds were the toughest. Neither of you was responding to what you had just said and you couldn't bear to look him into the eyes either. If you had, you would have seen complete appall to your words and also the hurt he felt from you doubting him like that. The two of you had never talked more than necessary about all the emotional things, treating them as normal, so you knew it was quite out of the blue to ask him this question now.

One side of you expected him to be quite rational about it, maybe a little bit angry about you blurting out such a 'nonsense' suddenly. Sometimes he was like that, a little cold, a little too much looking only at the things at hand. Most of the time he was your sweetheart and the sweetest boy you had ever seen. No matter what you loved him so much, but right now you weren't sure who you would have preferred to see at that moment.

It was stupid, considering you brought it over yourself but waiting for his response was nearly suffocating you. You waited and waited and then waited some more but there was nothing. Almost, you would have tried to brush it off, excusing yourself to the bathroom, getting fresh. It was already way past the meeting time, someone could've been coming any minute now, you were sure. You didn't really want anyone to see you like this. Like the pathetic little self, you were right now, desperately hoping for your boyfriend to give you some much needed attention.

However, the moment you put your hands in your lap, wanting to use them to get up, you felt how the cushions of the sofa gave away under his weight next to you. You felt one of his hands gently touching the top of yours, his long fingers easily overshadowing your palms. Next thing you felt was his free hand carefully rubbing over your back, warmth spreading where he touched it, even with the layer of clothes between your and his skin.

"[Name], calm down. I still love you, what made you say that?" Hearing his voice so close now made your heart thump, though it felt like it was jumping right into a needle, stinging heavily in your chest. His hand wandered down the side of your hip that was turned away from him, and he gently tugged you closer. You almost couldn't remember the last time you felt this warm and comforted by his touch, the two of you only getting closer and closer from that moment on.

"You don't answer any messages anymore and I barely get to see you, too." A sob escaped your lips as you let go of the things that troubled you. Clutching your free hand over your mouth you tried to silence it but found yourself unable to gain control of it. "And then…" You made a short break as another sob interrupted your sentence. The tears were flowing freely now and in streams, dripping down onto your clothes and also his hand, even though he didn't bother to get them off.

"Then you finally take me out and I get to spend time with you. But suddenly you have to work again and I feel like you've been avoiding me even more than before." The hiccups were unforgiving on your midriff and you made your first attempt to wipe your eyes with the hand that was previously covering your mouth. "It's just… I'm in the same room with you but I can't help but feel lonely."

Finally, you looked up at him meeting his gaze as he listened intently. His grey eyes were fixated on you and his expression was serious, though when he met your eyes, his mimic softened a little and you found him to be quite bashful, once the words were processed in his mind. He took one hand off you, scratching the back of his head and opening his mouth as if he was about to say something. But he closed it again, taking a deep breath instead.

"[Name], I'm… Oh man, I am so sorry," he finally brought forth. You couldn't help but giving him a confused, "Huh?" watching him fishing for the remote control on the coffee table. He clicked on the start button and surprised by the sudden sound you looked up at the big television.

Suddenly, there were so many photos flashing on the big screen. Photos of you and him, from the first date you ever went on and from the first vacation you spent together. It was everything either you or he ever took of the time you had together, pictures the two of you kept away to not risk you getting into danger or him being exposed. They were now turning and dancing over the screen, together with the song that you two danced to on your first night out.

"I was preparing this for today." Whilst in awe you looked away to meet his gaze again, a question burning your mind. "Day _and_ night?" you asked, feeling like even though this was amazing, it wasn't that time consuming, was it? "No, I really did work… at day and then worked on this at night." You turned your head back to the show, all the effort that he had packed into it showed from the quality to the smooth transitions.

Raising your hand again, another sob left your mouth, together with a wry laugh. "I am sorry I didn't answer your messages. The truth is…" Using one hand he fished in the pocket of his trousers, bringing forth his phone, or well, what was left of it. There was a huge crack in the display and it looked kind of bend. "I… dropped it," he explained. Of course, you knew that this wasn't the case, but he kept the gruesome details to himself, and you wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

"And you didn't think about getting a new one?" You felt quite baffled by his unusual chaotic manner, he wouldn't let something important like this just wait for so long without a reason behind it. "I thought we could look for one today, you are pretty knowledgeable about these things, so… Guess I was hoping you'd help me."

"That so…", you mumbled, staring at the poor remains of the phone in his hands. "And why have you been so cold to me today then?" Your voice was already shaking. Not from anger this time, but you actually slowly felt ashamed for your doubts and your behavior. He could feel your shivering so he caressed the side of your body his hand still resting at your hip anyway. "Honestly, I didn't even notice… I was fearing something might go wrong with the video I was mainly focusing on that."

The two of you sat there on the couch in silence for a while longer, watching the video slowly thrall out and the music stopped as it ended, the picture of a happy couple on the screen. Your sobs grew louder at that photograph and Soryu didn't hesitate to pull you closer and into his embrace. "Sorry for being-" Another hiccup interrupted you, though you kept on talking nonetheless. "Such an idiot, Soryu."

You felt him rest his head on top of yours, sighing. "Sorry for making you feel this way, [Name]. I know it was a little tough lately, but my feelings for you really didn't change in any way." You wiggled free from him, finally wiping away the tears that tattered your eyes. "You shall be forgiven, but please buy a new phone right away next time." Laughing, he leaned down to kiss your forehead, some more giggles escaping your mouth in response.

"I'm really sorry, but it was so important to finish it today."

Cocking your head to the side you looked at him with big eyes. "Why today? Where is everyone even?" you asked, looking around. "I managed to get them out of here for today because I wanted to spend some time with you alone." Lifting up your chin, you looked him deep into his eyes as Soryu leaned down again, meeting your lips in a soft kiss. Immediately you scooted closer, leaning into the sensation and wrapping your arms around his neck. Only for a moment, he broke away, saying what he had to say.

"It's our anniversary, right?"

The two of you quickly resumed back to your kiss. You found comfort in his touches and the feeling of his lips touching you, quickly to be swept away by him. There were no doubts left in your mind, the only thing that still lingered inside of your mind being a single thought.

Man, you loved that guy.


End file.
